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Are you feeling disconnected?

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I recently read ‘Bright Shining – how grace changes everything’ by Julia Baird. If you haven’t read it – I highly recommend it – especially if you have been feeling a little disconnected lately.

The intro on the inside cover goes like this….

‘Grace is both mysterious and hard to define. It can be found when we create ways to find meaning and dignity in connection with each other, building on our shared humanity, being kinder, bigger, better with each other……So what does grace look like in our world, and how do we recognise it, nurture it in ourselves and express it, even in the darkest of times?’

It is such an interesting read. Julia shares some horrific events that have happened to people and how they have coped, reacted and in some cases forgiven the most heinous of crimes.

At our purest human level we are all born ‘good’ – we all come into the world wanting to be loved, nurtured, cared for and most importantly to BELONG.

But somewhere along the way, bad things happen. We all have our challenges but some people really get the rough end of the deal. Some of these people share their stories in this book. It was a reminder for me to count my blessings and to take stock of what I can do to bring more GRACE into my life and the lives of those around me.

We don’t always know what’s going on for someone else, whether the person is a stranger, your neighbour or your partner. We are conditioned to respond to stress in a different way, depending on our own experiences. Some people are open & honest about how they feel and can easily express their emotions. Others mask their feelings, they can have a shut down/turn off mechanism when things get tough and become aloof or withdrawn. Others just simply ‘get on with it’. And then there’s people who just charge through stress with all the emotion screaming out of them. 

Having a bit more awareness of other people’s responses can help us not to take things so personally. We’ve all been in situations where someone has responded to a conversation or a situation in a way we weren’t expecting. We’ve gone home and played it over and over in our minds, wondering what went wrong. Or wishing we’d reacted or said something differently. How many times have you been in this situation and the other person isn’t even aware you feel upset?!? When you become more aware of not ‘reacting’ so quickly to other people’s responses, you can save yourself a lot of grief! (This leads back to my favourite topic of boundaries. When you have really clear boundaries it is much easier to not be so affected by other people’s reactions/moods/comments etc – but that’s for another newsletter!)

So what is grace & how can we achieve it?

‘Grace is more than simple kindness….It spawns generosity, compassion and empathy. It involves understanding, recognising another person’s humanity and walking in another’s shoes, which can pave the way for forgiveness’.

How can we make this is our focus in a world that is showing us the complete opposite? War, poverty, murder, domestic violence……and on a smaller scale (but equally significant and scary) – depression, anxiety, cyber bullying, body shaming and self doubt?

Start with kindness to yourself. Take yourself ‘off the hook’ occasionally. We are forever busy, getting stuff done, going here, there & everywhere. What if there was on off switch? What would you do??? Allow some freedom to explore what lights you up and reflect on what makes you so amazing. 

When you are FEELING more compassionate towards yourself, it’s easier to show kindness towards others. I know most of you personally and know you are all beautiful, kind souls. How can you show generosity, compassion and empathy to those around you? It’s amazing how quickly that generosity, compassion and empathy is returned to you. Remember small acts of kindness create CONNECTION.

We all crave connection, so let’s make that our priority.

We all want to feel loved, to feel connected and to BELONG.

If you are struggling with connection – please reach out. To me, to a friend or family member or one of the many online support networks. Sometimes we need to ask for help and that’s OK.

As Brene Brown says:

‘ We don’t have to do it alone. We were never meant to’

A quick bit of news before I sign off…..I have changed my work days at the clinic so I’m now working Thursdays 8.30am – 7pm and alternate Saturdays 8.30am – 1.30pm. Which gives me a day to study (aagghhh says my brain) and gain more knowledge and information to help you! Watch this space….

Remember if you are booking online & have trouble finding a suitable appointment time, please call or text me 0418 450 921. Sometimes the booking system doesn’t give the correct availability. 

Sending you the biggest hug so full of love and CONNECTION.

Remember – you are not alone.

I hope to see you soon.

Jane x

Reflecting on Mothers Day

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How was your Mother’s Day? Really.

I have had some very interesting conversations with mother’s over the last few days and their experiences have been very mixed! Most of them said they go in with low expectations, so as not to be disappointed.

But WHY are we disappointed?

Don’t get me wrong my Mother’s Day wasn’t terrible! My kids made me very thoughtful gifts and wrote beautiful cards. I even used my Mother’s Day powers to get them to do housework! I set the timer for 30 minutes and said ‘GO!’ There’s a lot you can achieve in 30 minutes when there’s 4 people sharing the load – who would have thought???

So back to my question of WHY we are disappointed….


As women (and especially Mother’s) it seems that our ‘job’ is not appreciated or acknowledged MOST of the time. We just DO IT! We organise the kids school & after school activities, pay the bills, do (majority) of the housework, organise the social calendar, buy the gifts for friends/family/partners, sign the school notes, make the lunches, cook dinner, deal with the emotional ups and downs of our children AND some of us work as well!!

I’m exhausted just writing that sentence!

Most of the time we do it with love (and on auto pilot)….most of the time. But sometimes on days like the over commercialised Mother’s Day where we are sold to believe we will be taken care of, we will not have to lift a finger, we don’t have to organise anything…..and it doesn’t happen….we feel RIPPED OFF!!

But is that our fault? Partly YES – we have grown up in a society where women still tend to do majority of the home duties. Even in families with two Mum’s – there’s usually one who does MORE. Don’t get me wrong I am well aware there are always exceptions to the rule – there are plenty of partners out there who do help a lot. I feel it comes back to the mental load that no-one can see or measure. You can count loads of washing or dinners cooked, but it’s the other stuff that flies around a mum’s head all day every day that you can’t quantify. Personally that’s what I’d like a break from… to switch off the mental load even for a day.

So that’s why I’m proposing we change it to MOTHER’S WEEKEND next year. On Saturday Mum’s can go off for the day and do whatever we please – sit and read a book in a cafe. Go out for lunch with our girlfriends, go for a bushwalk, have a massage. Sunday can be spent with the kids, our own Mum’s (if you are lucky to have yours) or other friends & family and appreciate these amazing creatures we created!

Who’s in? I think I’ll start a National Campaign!!

But in all seriousness – how can we get the break we are all looking for? You know the answer – you need to schedule in ‘ME’ time. I can hear you groaning from here! We all think we don’t have time but I bet you could find one hour a week! Or 20 minutes per day? Can you do that? You could schedule in a regular coffee date alone or with a girlfriend. It could be the yoga class you keep missing. Or why not go to bed half an hour earlier to read your book (that basket of washing can wait).

Or here’s a novel idea – we could ask for help.

Sometimes we expect our partners to know what we need (so many emoji’s I could insert here!) but I can assure you, most of them don’t! Maybe it’s worth sitting down and chatting about how you can share the load? I know some of you reading this are single Mum’s and have probably already sworn at me! I totally understand you are doing more than your fair share of the load. Do you have other Mum friends that you can swap with? You could have her kids while she has her one hour and vice versa.

You know the saying – it takes a village to raise a child.

For those of you with older children, it may be a chance to ask your kids for help too? I’m thinking of implementing the timer more often in our house – it really is amazing what you can achieve if everyone pitches in.

We can also feel good about raising our children to be competent adults!! Considering they are likely to live with us until they’re 40 – I suggest you ask for help now!

It’s the same story over again – where can you find some ‘ME’ time in your busy life. Because if you don’t, you will just get more tired, more resentful, more cranky – do you want that to be your every day experience?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please feel free to share your little ‘ME’ time suggestions & I can update this blog with some of your ideas. (Just get in touch here.)

I know it can be hard to ask for help – but please try it. You won’t be sorry.

Jane x

Where is your happy place?

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I had a wonderful weekend away with one of THE most amazing humans I have ever met. This photo was taken on the weekend – I was absolutely in my HAPPY place. By the ocean, under an almost full moon with my dearest friend….what more could this witchy woman ask for??

Unfortunately I don’t live near the beach right now, but I can take myself there in my mind instantly! I can see that beautiful moon on the horizon, smell the fresh sea air, hear the waves crashing, feel the sand below my feet and the water washing over me – I’m there……. but I’m not.

This is how powerful our mind is. If you’ve had an energy healing session with me you would be familiar with this process. In each session, I guide people to connect with their own beautiful, healing space. To tune in with all their senses – to really be immersed in that space. Once you have a sense of that feeling – it’s easier to go back there in your mind anytime, no matter where you are.

So where is your happy place? The place you imagine yourself, that gives you that feeling of calm, contentment, joy, freedom?

If you can find that place in your mind, it is a very powerful tool to use in times of stress or worry or if you’re having a down day.

You can use it in those times when you feel totally overwhelmed with all the things on the ‘to do’ list. Or you’re about to go into big meeting at work and your heart and mind are racing. You may have to have a tricky conversation with your partner, your kids or your boss.
Have you noticed how quickly you get swept up in the drama….the worry…the STRESS. What if you could recognise you were heading down the slippery slide and STOP.

Stop, take a few deep breaths, imagine yourself in your beautiful space in nature and RESET.

Find your reset point…feel yourself standing in that space, allow your body to realign with your natural calm space. 

Try it next time you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed…you are more powerful than you know!!!

Jane x

Celebrating International Women’s Day

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Today is March 8. What does this day mean to you?
It’s International Women’s Day and that could mean…

Acknowledging all the amazing women you know?
Celebrating what being a woman means to you?
Or reflecting on all the women who have influenced you along the way……
(For the men reading this – some food for thought about the women in your life!)

For me it’s a combination of all three. Particularly when I think of the amazing women I have in my life – family, friends, clients – I feel truly grateful because you seriously rock my world!

I really appreciate how much women value and respect their friendships. You’ve heard the saying ‘you’re lucky if you can count on one hand the true friends you have’.  Friendship is so important to me. I couldn’t have got through the last few years without my girlfriends. Women naturally hold space for each other – to listen, to hug, to verbally vomit on each other – without feeling the need to ‘fix’ or solve the problem.

This is what I value the most as a woman and a healer. I am blessed to be able to hold that space for my family, friends and my clients BUT only because others do it for me. We all want to feel safe, loved, heard and nurtured.

I am well aware that not everyone has this connection with other women. Unfortunately we live in a very competitive and isolated society where women feel they need to prove themselves (or protect themselves) in order to get through the day.
Not just in the workplace, but in their homes and family gatherings.

Do you struggle connecting with other women? Do you feel easily threatened by other women? Do you find yourself being critical and judging other women? 

You’re not alone. This is a VERY common feeling. 


Unfortunately we are still breaking through generational barriers that women have been fighting for a LONG time. Some of these female trailblazers (as I like to call them) might make you feel a little intimidated or insecure. Sometimes it’s easier to judge than appreciate they have probably had to work through their own struggles to get where they are.

One of my favourite Oprah Winfrey quotes is…


I was once afraid of people saying
“Who does she think she is?”
Now I have the courage to stand and say
“This is who I am”

 

Let’s celebrate the trailblazers, the women breaking through those generational barriers, the ones trying really hard to be a better Mum / partner/ friend/ PERSON.
Next time you feel intimidated by another woman, tune into the feeling that woman evokes in you – are you really saying ‘I want some of that?” 

It takes courage to work through your ‘stuff’ and own these feelings.
I often say to my clients as they start on their healing journey –
It’s not an easy ride, but it is SO worth it!

Let’s be there for each other, support and encourage each other and keep charging FORWARD! What if we could all stand up and say
‘THIS IS WHO I AM’

Now go and ring your Mum or your best friend or your Aunty and tell them how much you love and appreciate them!

You are unique, beautiful and very loved.

I hope to see you soon.

Jane x

Have you ever felt TOO emotional??

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Has anyone ever told you ‘you’re too sensitive’ when you get upset over something? Or called you a ‘hot head’ when you lose your cool? Maybe you find it hard to express any emotions because they are all bottled up inside.
You are not alone – emotions are tricky things to navigate.

I am currently reading Brene Brown’s ‘Atlas of The Heart’. She has spent decades researching emotions and how they are defined, the impact they have on us and how important is to be able to articulate our emotions. It is a fascinating read. She is very honest and open about her own challenges which I find so refreshing. What resonates with me is how important it is to be able to articulate or share our emotions. Women are generally better with expressing emotions (and some men too) as we tend to talk and share and unload with our family or friends. 
But not everyone has the ability to access and articulate their emotions or they may not have anyone to share them with.

I have the opposite problem – I have been ‘too’ emotional for my whole life!! As a child I was quite shy and sensitive (I know some of you will find that hard to believe!) In my earlier years I certainly felt I was too emotional in a negative sense. Now as an adult and a therapist, it makes sense I ended up choosing the work that I do!

I am fascinated with emotions – hence maybe a tiny crush on Brene Brown! 
Now as I observe my daughter starting to go through the pre-teen emotional changes, I see so much of myself in her. So I am trying to instill in her what a beautiful gift it is to be so in touch with her emotions. Emotions are there to guide us, to let us know how we feel and to respond to our situation accordingly. Besides, with my family genes she’s bound to cry whether she’s happy or sad!

Unfortunately many people have no idea how to express their emotions. Either they can’t find words to articulate their feelings or they don’t know how to access and explore these emotions. For some people there is shame or discomfort with certain emotions…for example, anger is bad or crying is a sign of weakness. Every single emotion is a way for our bodies to try and express something that we are feeling – this feels yuck, wrong, icky, fabulous, amazing, peaceful etc…

One of my all time favourite movies is ‘Inside Out’. if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.  If you have ever wondered what’s going on inside someone’s brain, this gives a really great insight. It is about 11 year old Riley and it takes you inside her brain where there’s this amazing control panel and the emotions are played by different characters – Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear. As Riley goes through her day and experiences all the different emotions – they are adjusting the controls to respond accordingly. Joy (the voice of Amy Poehler) is awesome. She wants to be in control all the time and tries to deter the others from touching the control panel. At the end of the day they load all of Riley’s memories (represented as coloured balls) to store away. The golden balls are ‘core’ memories – ones that Riley will always remember and are significant in her childhood.
Long story short, things go haywire, they lose all the golden balls and Joy has to try and fix everything. The stand out point in the movie is when Joy realises that in some of these ‘core’ memories, there is also a touch of sadness or anger or disgust or fear. All of these emotions are present in Riley’s core memories, not just joy. 

My point in sharing the movie with you is that all of our emotions help us to navigate how we feel. We can feel sorrow and joy in the same experience. We can feel fear and have someone help us through to feel safe again. These emotions are not isolated.
They fluctuate and change all day, every day.

Happiness seems to be the goal for most people. ‘I just want to feel happy’. But how can we experience happiness, if we haven’t felt sad or down or disheartened? How would we know that happiness feels better? 

As humans we are on eternal rollercoasters of emotions – we need to appreciate the down turns as well as the upturns. Most of us have been at the bottom of the dip where everything feels dark and hard and like it will never end. But then we start to climb up again and feel just a tiny bit better. We may even go all the way up the top and feel happiness, joy, excitement….and then plunge down again. Or it may be just a tiny dip in the rollercoaster and we are on our way back up again. We may have days or weeks where we actually get off and have some equilibrium for awhile….

Life is never even keeled – this is part of being human and having human experiences. Knowing how to navigate these twists and turns, knowing that you will come out of the ‘downs’, is what we are all striving for. When you are on the rollercoaster by yourself, it always seems scarier. 

This is why I LOVE the work that I do. I use my ‘gift’ to hold your hand while you are on the rollercoaster, to guide you with words or herbs or nutrients – to steady you and help you navigate the twists and turns.
If you’re ready you can book online here

I look forward to seeing you soon.

Love Jane x